​   I just need to say this: There is no unacceptable amount of exclamation marks in an email. Or a FaceBook post. Or a tweet.
 
   This is not a subtweet. It's a note to me from me.
   Put as many as you want.
   Or none.
   A whole bunch in a row.
   Or just sneak one in at the end.
   Conventions be damned…you do you.
 
 
   Why even care? This week I overheard two students talking:
   “Don’t overthink this.”
   “But that’s what I do.”
 
   Kids today are so much smarter than I was. The idea of overthinking something didn’t even enter my vernacular until a few years ago. Being able to recognize it in yourself? Accepting it as part of how you see the world and acknowledge that’s how you interact with it? Sooooo much smarter than I was.
 
   The exclamation mark is a perfect example. I love the exclamation mark. Love it!
   It’s like a thrilling amusement park ride hurtling into the station, the brief second of stillness before the unceremonious releasing of the air brakes.   
   Like getting to the last page of a book and having your breath taken away by the ending.
   Like a slammed door.
   A sudden epiphany.
   A red light.
 
   But use too many? Juvenile.
   None at all? Stern.
 
   I have no doubt that there are people who can relate to this, but others who are flabbergasted that someone would spend any amount of emotional energy even considering a punctuation mark.
 
   In the end, I suppose it’s not really about an exclamation mark at all, but our constant maneuvering to balance the expectations of others with an authenticity of self. A recent webinar on female leadership by Amy Korver and Amy Orth had me thinking about that. (Linked video at the bottom of this.)
 
   E. E. Cummings was one of the first poets I was ever exposed to, and some of you may have come across these words before: “To be nobody-but-yourself — in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else — means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting.”
 
   But it is the words preceding those famous ones that I find even more poignant.
“A poet is somebody who feels, and who expresses his feelings through words. This may sound easy. It isn’t. A lot of people think or believe or know they feel — but that’s thinking or believing or knowing; not feeling. And poetry is feeling — not knowing or believing or thinking.
   Almost anybody can learn to think or believe or know, but not a single human being can be taught to feel. Why? Because whenever you think or you believe or you know, you’re a lot of other people: but the moment you feel, you’re nobody-but-yourself.”
 
   We are taught, consciously or subconsciously, to be many things. (Linked a video here too, but heads up it's NSFW.) This week I’m going to set that overthinking aside…as best I can lol…and pay attention to what I feel…to be nobody-but-myself…and to be accepting of that.
 
   And if that email feels like it needs to be chock-full of exclamation marks?
   It will be!!!
 
   Have a great week everyone!
   Edla.

​

​Some things we don’t talk about:
The razor edges of clouds.
Mugshots of our souls.
Darkness that licked the light.
 
The distinctions of quicksand.
Anticipations of our tears.
Mirrors that enhanced the dolor.
 
The dust storms of memories.
Burdens of our assumptions.
Casualties that masqueraded the truth.
 
The frail guise of armor.
Savannahs of our depths.
Cascades that hindered the tsunami.
 
The tender fear of doubters.
Threads of our destiny.
Nectars that fed our courage.
 
The velvety fringes of the sun.
Self-portraits of our core.
Beacons that burn away the Cimmerian cover.
Things that we see and feel, but
some things we don’t talk about.
 
 
I saw the first four lines above on an Instagram post this week, and they stuck with me. I’m always telling the kids to spend some time playing in visual art this semester, and decided to play with some words here. But while I was doing that, several ads for Bell Let’s Talk day kept coming up in the background as my family was watching football playoffs on tv.

And it made me think: there are actually a lot of things we don’t talk about.
 
On Thursday this week, it’s Bell Let’s Talk Day.
As awareness of mental health increases, and more people are open than ever before, not everyone is there yet. As I saw on a meme this week, “You can’t talk butterfly language with caterpillar people.”
No.
But if you’re not sure what to do, where to begin, or how to start that conversation?
You can be present.
You can be kind.
You can be patient.
You can be open.
You can learn.
You can be vulnerable and honest and sensitive.
And.
You can listen.
 
As Bell Let’s Talk Day reminds us, “Now more than ever. Every action counts.”
That starts with me.
Tell me more.
 
 *Foy Vance “Let Me Carry Your Burden”
https://youtu.be/U9OYW4JBWXI
 
Let me carry your burden
If something's not right, I will let you know
Like the paint that's drying on a heart that's broke
Let me carry your burden
Get you back on a high when you're feeling low
When the weight's too heavy but you won't let go
Come to me my brother and I will sit with you awhile
Pretty soon I'll see you smile
And you know you will
No matter how much you are hurting right now
You know that everything will change in time
So let me carry your burden
Let me carry your burden
When your mouth's on fire but your mind is cold
And you're fanning flames that won't keep you warm
Come to me my brother and I will sit with you awhile
Pretty soon I'll see you smile
And you know you will
No matter how much you are hurting right now
You know that everything…

   This is the 105th blog post I’ve written. Not really a celebratory number, but the 100th one passed by without my noticing. I don’t need to skim back through them to know that there are a lot of common themes that pop up, and a lot of things that didn’t go exactly to plan!
 
   When that happens - often - I try to concentrate on the positives. There is always, without exception, something to be learned from the experience, but I find it isn’t productive to just fixate on all of the things that went wrong.
 
   A goal in making my thinking visible each week through my writing, was that it helped me process and give form to the lessons I learned for my own sake. 

   Do I fixate sometimes? Of course. Some lessons take longer to process than others.
   Sometimes, I’m just stubborn lol.
 
   But for all that, and especially if consider that some of my audience may be people who are just starting out in education, I’m not sure that it’s always clear that I didn’t arrive here in one day.
   Truth be told, “arriving” is just an illusion. And so is “here.” There really isn’t an education station (a la Platform 9 ¾) that we will ever pull into. It’s a continual journey that at some point I will leave, you will leave, and others will join.
 
   And it will keep going.
 
   Lest this really spiral into existential thinking, let me return to my point and reassure you: I have made many mistakes.
   I have written copious notes on the boards. Given worksheets. Given zeros. Given marks for behaviour. Taken off marks for behaviour. Taken off marks for late work. Taught from a textbook. Taught from a binder. Given feedback only at the end, and either for impact or tradition, put it in red pen. I’ve done rote and repetition. Handouts and homework. Puff-projects. Nothing personalized to the people in front of me.
 
   When I think about it, the ones that really hurt are the voices I silenced or the ones that weren’t empowered to speak because of the structure of my classroom.
 
   And even just the fact that I thought of it as mine. Not ours.
 
   I could continue, but it does actually give me a palpable reaction to go down this path.
 
   Has it been a very long time since those things were part of my educational philosophy?
   Yes.
   Am I constantly striving to learn, follow research, and try innovative approaches?
   Also yes.
   Will I continue to make mistakes?
   YES!
   Part of my opening work with new classes is this: If you get to the end of this course without having made any mistakes, then you haven’t learned anything new at all. If I allow myself one more existential thought: if nothing else, when I get to the end of my life and the list of mistakes seems extraordinarily long, I will confidently say that I learned a lot along the way.
 
   So for me, just like anyone starting something new, it can be overwhelming to look at where others are and feel overwhelmed.
   Frustrated.
   Immobilized.
  Social media exasperates that with our curated Instagrams and Pinterest-worthy posts.
 
   But remember: everyone started at the beginning at some point. For you it might be today. For someone else, it was last year. For others, this shows a decade of growth.
 
   I might be starting something new today, that you have been doing for a long time.
   You might be starting something new today, that I have been doing for a long time.
 
   I wish I knew how many times I’ve written this quote in my 105 entries…it will be a lot. But I’ll write it again because these words guide me not only at work, but in life:
   “Do the best you can until you know better. But when you know better, do better.”
 
   Here’s one more via Simon Sinek from Nikolai Vavilov:
   “The outcome is uncertain…But still, I want to try.”
  
Have a great week everyone! Start small, but start something new today.
Edla.