In loco parentis

   Today is Mother’s Day, and our social media timelines are filled with tributes to moms, whether they are still with us or not. Yesterday, I was fortunate to be able to spend time with my own mom and younger sister, as well as being able to visit with two of my aunties. A day well spent!
  As @cossOnEveryHook had posted on twitter, this is “Super Mother’s Day. Every other day is regular Mother’s Day.” And that’s not far off. From the amount of phone calls, texts, and snaps that I get from my own daughter every day, asking a question or just wanting to connect, I can vouch for that. And no matter how old we are, we always need our moms. Even if I haven’t called or messaged my mom to look for a recipe or access her amazing memory of my childhood, there’s not a day that goes by where I’m not heeding some advice that she’s given me.
   I don’t think there is a female educator out there that hasn’t mistakenly been called ‘mom.’ I even got called grandma once! When I was younger, I was equally as embarrassed as the student who accidentally said it, but now I see it’s the highest compliment.  
   Because when you have a question or need something, that tends to be the first word that bursts forth.
   Mom.
   And we are there.
  Working in a school for thousands of hours each year, as teachers and EAs, we are school moms for so many kids. We literally and figuratively bandage up hurts. We help negotiate fails and falls and friendships. We listen. Rough mornings and bad weekends. On dead pets and bothersome brothers. Whispered questions on sensitive topics. Period problems. Patient and honest answers.
   High fives. Hugs. How are you doing?
   The flip side of that, is that when we are so invested in our school kids, it’s sometimes to the detriment of our own families. The weekend tournaments, band tours, morning practices, planning and marking, and the dozens of other ways that we bring our work into our homes…sometimes in being there for other people’s kids, we aren’t there for our own. It’s a difficult balance and different from other occupations. When you are dealing with small humans, how can you say no? It’s something I bear some guilt about, particularly from when my kids were small.
   I might have been thinking that as three of us were spending our Mother’s Day afternoon preparing the track for the local meet coming up this week.
   But it also speaks to how important our school families and kids are to us too. The Education Act speaks to that relationship as in loco parentis, or that we are acting in place of the parents while the kids are with us. The latin seems so clinical. It’s so much more…a sacred trust. Parents give their children over to us for hours of each day, for years of their lives. Kids need us to listen, to care, and to love them. Just like a mom would.
   Heartbreakingly, we know that throughout time, school has not been that for so many children. And for too long.
   The women I work with are so unbelievably dedicated to doing what is best for our kids. I used facebook to say thanks to my own mom, and I’ll use my blog to say thanks to the amazing women that I have the privilege of working with each day. Especially for sacrificing the greatest gifts of time and love from your spouses and families, to give to our other kids each and every day.
   Hyvää koulun äitienpäivää…happy school moms day!